On Bliss
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Use Wind Power instead of Will Power to manage temptations
All of us succumb to our temptations or cravings once in a while. That scoop of ice cream, a puff of cigarette or even browsing your favority social networking site when you have other important things you need to do.
The will power required to resist the temptation requires quite a bit of energy.
My simple technique is a visualization technique. I accept the temptation or craving and visualize it as a strong Wind blowing at me. The stronger the temptation, the more stronger my visualized wind is. I know the Wind will pass and will not blow at me for a long period.
I become aware of the temptation Wind blowing at me and I slowly allow it to pass through me not resisting it keeping a smile on my face.
This visualization usually lasts less than a minute and is very effective.
Try the Wind power to help manage your temptations.
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About OnBliss
Initially, this site was created for me. So that I had a ‘framework’ to help me be happy all the time, no whatever what. Then I realized that my wife needed some guidelines. My daughter, who is 4 year old, had her happiness tied to a purple popsicle. She also could use some early perspective on how to be happy.
I have always asked what the purpose of my life was. I am sure many of you have asked the same question. After 20 years of asking the question again and again and reading countless books and attending seminars and after serious introspection I have realized that my purpose is to simply be happy. This blog is dedicated to that purpose.
The more I looked around, the more people needed some help with getting access to what I called a ‘happiness framework’. OnBliss is a combination of ‘techniques’ and ‘perspectives’ to help you to Simply be Happy. Most of these are distilled from Hindu or Buddhist knowledge but intended to be easily practiced.
I have kept the layout of the site as simple as I can, with the least amount of distractions. I believe distractions does not lend to keeping things really simple.
If you notice closely, I also have avoided timestamping the articles, because the intention is to keep articles unbounded to time as much as I can. There will be examples which will refer to time-based instances but that is mainly for illustration purposes.
If you like to send me a note a technique or perspective you use to be happy, please send an email to onbliss [ a t ] posterous [ d o t ] com.
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Want vs Needs
Lots of people just don’t get the difference between what they want and what they need.
For example, I want to drink a can of Coca-Cola. I don’t need one. A ‘want’ is usually a ‘mental’ formulation and a ‘need’ is more closely associated to a ‘physical’ requirement.
You can argue that the thirst for a Coca-Cola is ‘physical’. The truth is that you have a ’physical’ need on which you have layered the ‘mental’ want. You will need to decouple them and become aware of the qualitative differences between these two.
Once you start understanding your true needs ( e.g. you ‘need’ a roof on your head) you are already well ahead on the true journey of simply being happy.
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Non-judgmental Awareness
Awareness is the fundamental building block for happiness.
The ability of the mind to observe without adding layers of bias, criticism and unnececessary analysis make the awareness non-judgemental.
It is like you watching a fish swim in a pond or an aquarium. You don’t know where it is going to swim to next and you just simply observe its motion flowing easily and effortlessly through the water.
It is a natural effortless way of observing what is happening now without any preconceived notions. There is no projections of what will happen in the future because you are only observing what is happening now and nothing else.
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Before thought
The concept of natural awareness is alien to lots of us. The buddhists call it ‘Sati’ or Mindfulness.
It is ‘before thought’ in the perceptual chain of events. ’Before thought’ is the state where you register an event. It is the direct and immediate experience of whatever is happening.
It is before you have started using your memory or have started analysing.
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The Happiness Layers
When I think of how everyone can simply be happy, I usually think of some fundamental layers which need to exist to build the foundation of your happiness.
These layers are not ‘really’ layers but a simple way to comprehend the concept of the interdependent components.
All these layers needs to be taken care of on a daily basis. What I mean by ‘taken care of’ is that we need to pay attention to these layers by doing things which are appropriate for each of the layers so that the layer remains strong. If we don’t, the layer deteriorates and causes the Happiness Stack to fall apart.
It is like not watering our favorite plant. The plant can probably go up to a couple of days without water. But after some time its health will start deteriorating.
So what layers does the Personal Happiness Layer comprise of :
Physical layer ( the body)
Energy layer ( breath, food , rest)
Mental layer ( your thoughts and related feelings)
Intellectual layer ( your knowledge based activities which accesses memories and experiences)
Awareness layer ( the pure consciousness)
Each of the layers can interact with any other layer and that is the key thing to note here.
Supreme happiness (Bliss) is attained when all these layers work efficiently and interact properly.
This concept of ‘happiness layers’ is not something I invented. In fact, it has been around for ages. The hindu tradition (from India) labels its the 5 sheaths of human existence
Anna-maya kosha - Organic body
Prana-maya kosha - Energy body
Mana-maya kosha -Psychic body, thoughts and feelings
Vigyana-maya kosha - Intellectual body, spiritual discrimination and wisdom
Ananda-maya kosha - Body of joy, pure consciousness, blissful being
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Non-judgmental Awareness
Awareness is the fundamental building block for happiness.
The ability of the mind to observe without adding layers of bias, criticism and unnececessary analysis make the awareness non-judgemental.
It is like you watching a fish swim in a pond or an aquarium. You don’t know where it is going to swim to next and you just simply observe its motion flowing easily and effortlessly through the water.
It is a natural effortless way of observing what is happening now without any preconceived notions. There is no projections of what will happen in the future because you are only observing what is happening now and nothing else.
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Results don’t matter
Again, a very powerful knowledge element from the Bhagavad Gita :
(2.46) One has the ability and privilege to do one’s respective duty, but has no control over the results. The fruits of work should not be the motive. Also, one should never remain inactive.
When you do anything with most of your attention spent on how the results will be, then you split between two things. You are split between the present moment and the future. Instead of paying full attention to what you are doing, you are constantly worrying about what the results will be.
To be truly happy, you will need to be fully aware of what you are doing and not dilute the energy spent on the activity worrying about the results.
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Energy Management is Key
Managing energy across the 5 layers is a key technique to ensure you are happy. Even though most of the energy management happens in the ‘Energy Layer’, the other layers are directly affected by this.
How do you manage energy?
STEP 1 : You begin this by accepting everything which is happening now.
I cannot explain how simple this is and how important this first step is. The easiest way to explain this by showing how I put this into practice.
When I am working at home, usually on my laptop, my 4 year old comes by, once-in-a-while , and nags me. She usually wants to sit on my lap. The initial reaction for me is a little bit of irritation. But with my awareness I fully accept her and her demand and I request her to do something more interesting like reading a book. If she still persists, I ask her to wait for a minute so that I can logically stop my work at a place I can come back to without much effort. Then I put her on my lap and with a smile from my heart, I give her a hug and tell her that Acha (daddy in our mother tongue) has work to do and she can sit with daddy for a couple of minutes. And I do nothing else other than giving her a light hug. After a couple of minutes, she usually gets down by herself and happily goes to her next task.
The essence of the above example is that accepting whatever is coming to you, whether it is a request from the outside, or something your mind creates will help you lay the foundation so that you continue to practice awareness.
Resistance of what is happening now is counteractive to optimal energy management.
The layer where this applies is the Awareness layer.
STEP 2 : Have the right kind of food
Avoid animal and high fat products as much as you can.
Animal products contain fat, especially saturated fat, which is linked to heart disease, insulin resistance, and certain forms of cancer. These products also contain cholesterol, something never found in foods from plants. And, of course, animal products contain animal protein. It may surprise you to learn that diets high in animal protein can aggravate kidney problems and calcium losses. Animal products never provide fiber or healthful complex carbohydrate.
These products do not help with optimizing your energy. On the other hand, to digest animal products and to deal with the effects it has on your health it takes up lots of your good energy.
STEP 3 : Have the right kind of rest at the right intervals
Finding the right ‘pace’ for your activities and sprinkling breaks in between can make the activities more enjoyable.
For example, when I wrote this article, I use a hard rule of not writing for more than 20 minutes at a stretch. I also start writing with an intention of not getting distracted with anything else - e.g. browsing or emailing. If a random actionable thought comes up, I write it down into my plain blank sheet of paper which is always beside me.
Getting into the ‘flow’ is a practice which everybody can get into. Energy management for your activities is primarily done with getting the right kind of rest so that you are recharged when you get back to the activity.
STEP 4: Breathe properly
Proper breathing can be an important coping skill to learn. It may sound silly, but many people do not breathe properly. Natural breathing involves your diaphragm, a large muscle in your abdomen. When you breathe in, your belly should expand. When you breathe out, your belly should fall. Overtime, people forget how to breathe this way and instead use their chest and shoulders. This causes short and shallow breaths, which can increase stress and anxiety.
STEP 5: Get some sunlight
There is a sort of spiritual significance when you get some ‘light’. Most vegetation extracts its energy from the sunlight, which is absorbed directly by the chlorophyll of plants. In men, it is absorbed by mitochondria, which are like miniature batteries that store the indispensable energy for its organism.
Getting out in the morning or sitting close to a window, you can expose yourself to some sunlight. Experiencing the warmth generates some emotional warmth, energy and revitalizes you.
STEP 6: You put energy in the places where you get more energy back
This is about spending time on things which are good for you long term. For example, avoid television as much as possible unless you watch something which is energizing or informative. Don’t gossip, because it creates a lot of negative energy.
Spend time on projects or activities where the minimum you get back is the knowledge and experience. Do some gardening; see plants and flowers grow. Spend time with small children and enjoy their spontaneity. Spend time on activities with family and friends which all of you enjoy.
Show gratitude. Gratitude is an expression of positive energy. When you sow positive energy into the universe it multiplies.
By the way, there is another way of defining happiness. It can also be called ‘blissful energy’.
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Stop Clinging
Clinging is the worst form of attachment. A restless form of attachment which does not allow you to settle down. If you haven’t settled down, it will be hard to apply awareness. Your mind is full of the object which you are clinging on to.
Often we get so caught up in this ‘Clinging’ that we barely even notice we are caught by it, we never sit back and get any perspective on this ongoing craving or deep uncontrollable desire that we have.
Understanding Clinging
We need to get a good understanding on how all types of desires work, not just one particular desire. Understanding the creation of the ‘clinging’ will help us understand how to overcome it. So this is what I want to spend some time about here and show how the process of desires and sensual pleasures repeats in our lives – eating issues, addiction problems, cheating on our spouses etc. These are all ‘clinging’ in one form or another, even down to the subtle stuff like desire for a morning cup of tea or a wanting for a hug from your little one.
What do we cling on to
According to Buddhist teaching there are five types of phenomena (aggregates) which serves as objects which we cling on to. They are :
Aggregate
External Sense Base
Internal Sense Base
Form
mental visible form, sound, smell, taste, touch
objects eye, ear, nose, tongue, ear, nose, tongue, body
Sensation
mental objects
Perception
Formation
Conscousness
mind
Step #1 : Identifying the form
Once we identify the different objects we cling on to, we can start being aware of the attachment associated to these objects.
That sounded easy but as you know this is not easily done. An example can help you understand the workings of this. I am currently fond of ‘honey roasted peanuts’. I eat them almost regularly because I have this plastic see through bottle sitting on the kitchen counter and its clearly in sight. The object of my attachment is the visible form ’honey roasted peanuts’. But there isanother form associated with it and that is the form of taste.
Step #2 : Identifying the Sensation , Perception or Formation
Once you have identified the forms, you can start identifying the sensation associated with the form. So in my example it could be sensation of craving. A formation of temporary hunger. A perception that eating the snack can take your mind off something boring you are doing.
Step #3: Watching the Desire
A desire arises almost as soon as the sensation arises. People usually confuse the two. The sensation in the step above is the trigger to the desire.
This is where awareness plays a vital role. We have gone through a process of identifying the form, finding the associated sensations and identifying the desire triggered by the sensations.
Just watching the desire as an observer will reduce the impact the desire has on you. The proper response is to let go of the desire little-by-little. By not pushing the desire away, by not fighting it or resisting it, you become automatically detached but your need to take action does not automatically happen. This last line is very important and I sincerely advice you to read that again.
We need to be constantly aware and vigilant so that as any desires arises we can observe it and see it for what it is, not act on it, and just let it pass. As you do this the desire’s propensity to be repeated reduces until eventually it ceases to arise any more. This is that path to the cessation of suffering and the real path to simply being happy.
